Today, on the 9th anniversary of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre, and just two short weeks after a shooting at high school in Oxford, Michigan, I am grieving with all the families who have lost someone to gun violence, especially the families of the students and teachers. I am also reliving the trauma of that day when I learned that, had it not been for the quick thinking of a stranger, I may not be here today.
A few years ago, a male student at the university where I worked tried to buy a gun from a pawn shop a few blocks from campus. The pawn shop owner informed the student that there was a mandatory three day waiting period and background check, and had the student fill out paperwork that included his name and contact information. The student left the shop without the gun.
Here’s the thing: the state had no mandatory waiting period or background check for this type of sale. The pawn shop owner noticed the student was disheveled and seemed disoriented, and had a cut and bruise on his face. So, the pawn shop owner made a choice, the student believed the owner, and upon recognizing this customer was a student, the pawn shop owner called campus police immediately after the student left.
It turned out that the student had committed a domestic violence incident the day before, and the cuts and bruises were from his ex-girlfriend’s roommate and roommate’s boyfriend, who had thrown the male student out of the apartment after the male student had gotten physically aggressive with his ex-girlfriend, who was also a student. The male student had no specific plan to use the gun, but he expressed anger toward his ex-girlfriend and also indicated he was suicidal. The male student was admitted to the hospital and withdrew from school, and ultimately went home to his parents in another state. The student faced no charges – the ex-girlfriend refused to pursue charges or Title IX violation out of fear, no “real” threats were made, and no gun laws were broken.
I know the details of this story because I was a member of the student concern/behavior intervention committee, and we received information about every student with an academic, medical, mental health, or legal concern. I also know more details because the ex-girlfriend was a student worker in my office. She was working at the time her ex-boyfriend tried to buy a gun, and she worked the two days after that. I found out about the incident in my meeting two days later.
After I found out, we developed a safety plan for her – and everyone in the office – just in case.
Just. In. Case.
Every night, for a very long time, I said a prayer of thanks to the pawn shop owner. He could’ve made the sale, and it would’ve been totally legal, but he didn’t. And what would’ve happened if he had? What could have happened if he had? Maybe nothing. Maybe.
